Moonbeam
Dances-Naked-Without-Rhythm, Greenpeace MusicWatch Coordinator, Liverpool,
CA: "Oh, like, in California we totally relate to HELP!, you know. They're
just like the Beatles, only more in tune with the world. Like, they use only
100% recycled organic Beatles songs -- no additives, fillers, or artificial
ingredients whatsoever. Me and my friends, we listen to them whenever we're
out splashing furs or chaining ourselves to Patriot missiles...
Feinmess
Bloomersfell, Exotic Dancer/Arbitrager, Pismo & Pismo Investments,
Liverpool, NY: "I always say: `You want a sure thing? Put your money in HELP!
They got Beatles sound, Beatles lyrics, Beatles quality, and they're cheaper
than pork bellies. They're not tax deductible, but hey, when's the last time
you tried dancing to a municipal bond? Wake up! Smell the coffee! Get on
over to the next HELP! gig and pretend you've got a life! Jeez..."
Tatiana Lemino
Vhenyuvatchinnova, ex-KGB agent, Liverpoolinsky, Russia: "In Russia we
have saying: `Without HELP! there can be no revolution.' Also `You can't
spell perestroika without H-E-L-P!' To us, they are symbol of peace and freedom,
and also of Sixties, which we have miss in Russia. We have communes, da,
but no free sex. We are looking happily to big love-in with HELP! at
Vladivoodstock this summer, where Boris Yeltsin wish to sing `Mikhail Ma
Belle' and dance nude by the Volga..."
Miranda "Moms"
Moosehead, Lord Mayor, Liverpool, Montana: "Such wonderful boys! I remember
they used to put rolled-up socks in their trousers to make themselves look
bigger. Then one night little Mikey forgot to zip up his fly, you know, before
they went on stage, and in the middle of his solo the balled up sock simply
popped out and bounced onto someone's head! Poor Mike was terribly embarrassed,
but he kept right on playing and the other boys, to make it look like part
of the act, took their socks out too and threw them into the crowd! It was
such a wonderfully special moment..."